If you and your partner were stranded on a desert island, how much time would you spend doing it? If you answered 24/7 that’s one of the signs you sexually satisfy your partner, and your partner satisfies you. But in real life, how can you tell if you’re good in bed?
You might think that wanting to know if you sexually satisfy your partner makes you needy. But that’s far from the truth. It’s fine for you to want validation, sexual or otherwise. PsychCentral reported that the desire for validation was one of the strongest motivators of human behavior. Given that some psychologists agree that validation has positive effects on how you live your life (in and out of bed), there’s no reason to get down on yourself for wanting to know if you sexually please your partner.
But just make sure you check your motivations for needing sexual approval from your partner. When wondering if you sexually satisfy your SO, are you wondering because you want a pat on the back for a job well done or are you afraid that your partner might stray if you’re not good in bed? Although many partners do cheat because the sex in their current relationship isn’t satisfying, just as many people cheat because they lack emotional connection from their partner, according to Psychology Today. In other words, your sex life doesn’t define the sum total of your relationship. And that old adage about communication being key in a healthy partnership holds true here as well. There’s no harm in asking your partner about your sexual performance or looking out for the following signs that you sexually satisfy your partner.
1. YOU’RE PERCEPTIVE IN LIFE
If you think you’re sexually satisfying your partner, chances are you actually are. Women’s Health noted a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that you should trust your gut when it comes to your sexual skills. Being perceptive is a sign that you know how to read all kinds of situations, including how your mate thinks you perform.
2. YOU SPEND TIME CUDDLING AFTER SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER
A different study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that couples who are sexually satisfied with each other like to cuddle, caress, and share moments of intimacy after sex. This study found that women more than men felt more sexually satisfied when their partners show post sex affection.
3. YOU’RE NOT EASILY THREATENED
According to Thought Catalog, if your sexuality isn’t easily threatened, you know you’ve got skills in the sack. In a world where sex is available with the swipe of finger, if you play it cool and act like you’re not sexually vulnerable, it’s a sign that you’re the bomb dot com between the sheets and your partner is enjoying your skills.
4. YOUR PARTNER IS ALWAYS LEARNING NEW TRICKS
If your partner is constantly expanding his repertoire of sexual skills, that’s a sign they want to satisfy you because you’re satisfying them, according to another article in Women’s Health. This is especially true for men because, as the article noted, men are naturally competitive by nature, and if he’s going for gold, it’s because he thinks you’re platinum.
5. YOU HAVE SPONTANEOUS SEX
Men’s Fitness reported that spontaneous sex is a sign your partner is sexually satisfied. Why? Well, first, it’s a common sexual fantasy. And second, it means that you both can’t wait to get it on, meaning your partner is really crazy about your sex life.
6. YOU DON’T BRAG ABOUT BEING GOOD IN BED
The golden rule of sex is that people who brag about how good they are usually are overcompensating, according to the same article in Thought Catalog. So, conversely, if you don’t find yourself bragging about your sexual skills, that’s a sign that you know you’re satisfying your partner.
7. YOUR PARTNER LIKES TO GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
Sex coach J. Dallas told Bustle that a sign that your partner is sexually satisfied by you is if he or she likes to examine your lady parts. Curiosity, she said, is not only a sign that your partner is into you, but that he or she is creative in bed. Lucky you.
8. YOUR PARTNER GIVES YOU ORAL, A LOT
Building off the previous point, Dallas added that if a partner gives you oral on the regular, take that as a sign that he or she is super invested in your sexual relationship, and getting satisfied. Why? As Dallas pointed out, no one likes to put something foreign in his or her mouth, so if oral is going on all the time, chances are you guys have an intimate relationship that gets you both off.
9. YOUR PARTNER GETS ROMANTIC
The same article in Men’s Fitness reported that men want to please women to let them know that they’re happy with your bedroom rapport. So, if you find rose petals at the foot of the bed, a common sexual fantasy, according to the article, pat yourself on the back. And then do what you do so well.
10. YOUR PARTNER FLIRTS WITH YOU AFTER SEX
Sure, a guy is likely to say many things to get a woman into bed. But if he’s super flirty post coitus, noted Women’s Health, take that as a sign that he’s been sexually satisfied by your skills.
11. YOU’RE AN ACTIVE LISTENER
Thought Catalog noted that being an active listener is a sign that you’re sexual napalm. Why? Well, think about it. Being an active listener requires commitment, interest, empathy, and generosity. And, according to Psych Central, active listening builds trust.
You might not always recognize that the traits you have in life translate to how effectively you perform in bed. But they do, so have a look at yourself and not just your partner to gauge your sexual prowess.